Eff Seven

I have the man-flu. It’s like regular flu, but as every man knows it’s much, much worse. You wouldn’t understand how bad it is. You have to have it. Oh, it’s awful.

Fortunately, my suffering has coincided with the release of the gobsmackingly brilliant AudioSurf, a small-scale, low-budget, independently-developed game that’s the cleverest thing I’ve seen since Portal, and the most fun I’ve had since I was eight years old. Before we go any further, here’s a video I recorded of me playing a level.

It’s probably not immediately clear what’s going on, or why it should be enjoyable. AudioSurf is just your average arcade racer. There’s a little spaceship, and he darts along the track picking up coloured blocks and making patterns. Big patterns equals high score. High score equals fame. Fame equals subtle feeling of emotional deadness inside, addiction to tranquilisers and eventual death. It’s a classic idea. But it’s been done a million times, with subtle rule changes.AudioSurf has a very special trick, though. To create each level, you give it a song. The song is used to create everything, from the speed of the ship to the track’s elevation to the colours of the blocks. Everything is in time to the music - the bassline, the vocals, the awesome guitar solos and the big finishes. It’s clever on six point three different levels, and from the first time you give it one of your songs to play with, I guarantee you’ll be hooked.It serves as a perfect offset to my blocked up sinuses and sore throat, because AudioSurf barely requires any input whatsoever. It might look hectic, but all I’m doing it gingerly waving the mouse from side to side. Yet for some reason it’s exhilarating - pick the right song and it’ll elicit a true adrenaline rush, as powerful choruses explode in reds and yellows, tunnels flashing overhead and the ship speeding off down a sharp incline. It’s an amazingly simple idea, but it’s a fresh one. And for the moment, it’s ludicrously popular.

If you’ve got Steam then it’s a mere $10 - nothing if you’re buying from the United Kingdom. If you’ve not got Steam, then why on Earth not? It’s picking up genius acts like AudioSurf on a monthly basis, and it’s the future. Go see it now.