Eff Seven

A close friend of mine attended her second-round interview at Google today, thus ranking her alongside demigods and this man in the terms of the entirety of existence. Or at least, that’s what you might think, if you ever tried to look up the Google interview process online, something that will lead you first to somewhere cheery, such as their recruitment pages; then to a slightly more depressing ‘insider view‘; and then probably to you slashing your wrists.

Maybe it should be like that, to punish you for relying on the internet for anything, ever. But the good news is this - Google’s interview process is sensible, normal and entirely do-able by you (yes, you). Looks like the Internet was… wrong!? I know, it sounds preposterous, but I’m here to tell you why you shouldn’t be afraid of the big bad Google.

• You get asked questions like ‘How many gas stations are there on Mars’ or ‘How would you shave a goat’
  Turns out that Google want people who can do Maths and stuff, rather than people who can do inane calculations and justify them with pseudo-intellectual claptrap like this chap did. Interview questions can be off-the-wall for longer-term positions such as full-time placements and I’m not saying you won’t get asked to calculate how many baseballs you could fit into Gloria Estefan or something, but your average interview questions are going to be ‘Write me an algorithm to do this…’ and ‘Tell me about the course project you said you worked on…’
• You have to bring a tent and camp in the offices for six days of interviews, during which you hunt to catch your own food and are assessed on how well you wash your socks
  The bigger the job contract, the more interviews are required - that’s a given for any company, anywhere. Google don’t have time to spend ages interviewing every single candidate for every single position, though, so claims of day-long interview sessions for simple internship placements are way overblown. Most people who applied to their UK headquarters that I know have had two interviews - one phone interview, and one in person at their Victoria-based office.
• The interview involves a trial in front of seventeen people during which you’re asked to perform a rendition of ‘My Heart Will Go On’ in Spanish. And they make you wear a silly hat
  Google are unnaturally friendly. It’s almost offputting. You’ll be greeted by almost anyone you walk near, and probably met by the person who emailed you about the interview. Face-to-face interviews are done usually with just one or maybe two software engineers in a friendly environment. There’s a whiteboard and some markers, so you can use lots of space to answer the questions and don’t have to worry about shuffling in a seat and playing with your hands.
• ‘Very technical’ is a codeword for ‘You have five minutes to design a hyperthreaded CPU from scratch, using twigs and eggboxes’
  If you’re applying for a job at Google, and don’t consider yourself ‘technical’, then by all means be worried. But if Google tell you that your interview will be ‘very technical’, what they mean is that they’re not going to spend half an hour asking you ‘Why do you want to work at Google?’ and ‘Describe your biggest weakness using hand gestures and dance only’. It means they’re going to ask you questions about technical stuff. Because you’re a technical kind of person.
• The only people that get in are people that aren’t me
  Google are an amazing company to work for, and many people rightly see it as a dream job. Some complain that the structure doesn’t allow for ‘climbing the ladder’, some people see what they do as simple, and not very technical. But if you see Google as a good place to work, the thing to bear in mind is that people do pass these interviews, and they do see the other side. Google strive to create an image of being ‘unique’ and ‘kooky’, but it’s not entirely a false image. They are looking for a different kind of person, and it’s impossible to tell whether that person is you or not unless you fill in the form and go and try.

The one rumour about Google that really is true is that their officers ooze fun. There are big screens on the walls showing current searches around the world, novelty-sized computing peripherals and whiteboards all over the walls bearing intricate drawings and amusing messages. The people smile, and they don’t wear suits. They’ve all passed through the ring of fire that is the interview process, but crucially they all came out the other side. Could you be one of those people? Absolutely. Don’t be disheartened - try.

(Incidentally, she really does rank amongst demigods, but not for that reason)